Mahabharat Aaj Kal A.K.A Software and the rape of Draupadi

I am Time......

It's my role to be a silent spectator to the events of the world. I have often marvelled as to how history repeats itself in ways one cannot imagine. The mahabharata which has been an epic remembered for generations seems, to repeat in smaller ways again and again.

Today, I shall compare today's mahabharat with the one that happened eons ago......

Scene 1

Retro : The Swamyvar of Draupadi

1) The pandavas are in search for a good bride for Yudhistra.

2) They go to the kingdom of Drupad. He places an impossible task. To hit the eye of a fish watching a pond. Arjuna steps up to the task, and achieves it.

3) They take Draupadi home and tells mum Kunti:- "Look mum who we have bought".

Kunti says, whoever you bought share them amongst yourselfs.

So Draupadi marries all the Pandavas.

Modern : The hiring of the software developer

1) The project manager and lead need a developer. They hear about the famous 'D' developer. He is the best developer in the world. He is sought after by many companies.

2) He places impossible terms to join the company. He asks them to give him stock options, bonuses, business class travel. They agree.

3) They take him to HQ to show him to the VP and tell him :- "Look who we ordered to make the technical ESB system".

The Group Software Manager replies:- "There is no budget for anymore developers. Make him do all the modules".

So the developer gets assigned to all the modules.

Scene 2

Retro : The game of chausate(dice)

1) The pandavas are challenged to a game of "chausat".

2) They have to randomly pick a number and throw the dice.

3) If the dice matches the number they say, they win else they loose.

4) Yudhistra says to his brother- " I need 6. 6 sounds like a nice number."

The pandavas loose the game of dice.

Modern : Estimation and Execution

1) The Project Manager is challenged to an RFP by the client.

2) They have to give a number of days estimate and hope they achieve it.

3) If they execute the project in those days, they win else they loose.

5) One PM to another- " I think 6 days should be fine for this. 6 sounds like a good number"

The project does not get executed on time.......the delivery fails

Scene 3

Retro : The aftermath

1) The kauravas claim the entire kingdom of the pandavas.

2) They also claim Draupadi.

3) Draupadi is dragged into the court by her hair. There is an attempt by the Kauravas to strip her.

4) She prays to the god Vishnu to save her.

5) Vishnu saves her by making her Saari longer and longer till the Kauravas give up the attempt to strip her.

6) The "elders" appeal to good sense. Ultimately, the kingdom is given back to the Pandavas.

However, the pandavas have to spend 13 years in a jungle and 1 year "hidden". If they get caught, they have to repeat the punishment ad infinitum.

The pandavas go the jungle and start preparing for war.

Modern : The aftermath

1) The client fines the project company an enormous amount of money.

2) They ridicule the developer and condemn him to spend the next 1 year in office without holiday working 18 hours a day.

3) The developer prays to Vishnu to save him.

4) Alas!!! History does not repeat itself.(After all this is Kalyug!!!). No Krishna to save the developer.

5) There is a negotiation between "Directors". The client relents on the huge fine. The product must be developed in the next 6 months.

The last one month there should be no clarifications or communication with the client. If there is a clarification or communication, the client will change requirements and the product will take another 6 months of free development ad. infinitum.

The team goes back to the development center and starts preparing for the delivery.

Scene 4

Retro : The battle

1) The pandavas finish their punishment and go back to the Kauravas to claim their part of the kingdom.

2) The kauravas refuse to give them back their kingdom citing that they were caught during the hidden period and other technicalities.

3) The battle lines are drawn. The pandavas approach "Bhisma" and all elders for help. "Bhisma" declines to help the Pandavas saying he is duty bound to help the Kauravs and the current king of Hastinapur.

War follows shortly.......a war of trickery, deceit and blood shed.....................

Modern : The delivery

1) The delivery team finishes the delivery and goes to the client for acceptance testing.

2) The client refuses to accept the delivery citing technicalities and quality problems.

3) The UAT lines are drawn. The developers appeal to the VP for help. The VP refuses saying that it is their duty to give good customer service and must accept the changed requirements calmly.

The UAT follow shortly....a hot pressure cooker UAT with daily developer attrition and drama.....

Aftermath

UAT is not war, but sometimes feels like it. The mahabharat happened due to pure gambling by the Pandavas. Software Estimation sometimes feels like the same. If the estimates go wrong the developers well have the same fate as that of Draupadi......we should look at getting our estimates right, our delivery perfect and harmony with our clients............watch the video below and have fun

Will Mickey Mouse and Jerry bring down Indian IT?

I am increasingly frustrated by some of the policies that are followed in top-tier IT companies in India. One thing that really irks me is the inability to bring in small eatables or drinkables(biscuits, fritos, kurkure) or even a can of coke to eat on my desk while programming.
My dream when I was a college kid was to have a bottle of coke(or pepsi) on the side, loud music banging through my ears and line and line of beautiful, world changing code being written.
But most IT companies, do not allow food inside the premises, some going to the extent of banning tea and coffe on the desk. It was not until I spoke to a F&L manager recently, that I understood the reason for this seeming idiosyncracy.

The reason was RATS!!!! Apparently, rat infestations are common. He highlighted an incident in a company he worked with, where RATS invaded the server rooms and tore the main cabling crippling the network.

I was aghast!! Million dollar servers running million dollars worth of software which keeps an army of 4000 people busy working, all bought down by Rats? (Not viruses/not malware/not theft/not hackers but rats). A scene right out of the Tom and Jerry comics.

There is no mention of rats in any ISO code or any other standard which data center people are supposed to follow. The problem of rats is surprisingly hard to solve. A simple google, did not find me one good simple(read cheap) solution to fixing the problem, other than calling in exterminators and putting a lot of rat poison.

Ofcourse, a knee jerk reaction to this is that many IT companies(who claim they are fun places to work in etc etc) , stop you from taking even small eatables into the company premises!!!! I personally believe that this is a huge dent in productivity. For some people programming and eating go hand in hand. For others, it is a time saving opportunity lost.

I am more saddended by the fact that none of the big IT companies I know off seem to be doing anything other than the obvious, "do not allow food" inside tactic. Many of them cite the excuse that Indians by their very nature are "sloppy" and "undisciplined" and cannot be trusted to keep premises clean enough to ward of rodents.

I am even more aghast at the fact that our big IT companies which employ millions of our best brains have not come up with innovative solutions to tackle this issue. I wonder, what such technological innovative solutions can be.

Granted, pest control is not in the domain of the normal "IT Engineer", however innovative solutions are. I can think of a few:

1) Wireless Networks- Go wireless wherever possible people. Makes things a whole lot easier.
2) Secure Cables- There must be something(Steel covering) to put on cables that would prevent mice from chewing on them
3) Poison- Ofcourse poisioning would be the best way to have Pest Control.

I would love to see if there are any more innovative ideas(I admit the ones listed above are a little lame.) to solve this problem.